“If you have one true friend you have more than your share,” Thomas Fuller.
I guess, I have been very lucky during my life time. I have had four friendships, but unhappily it’s now only three. For me, the difference between Friends and Friendships, is the lasting quality of the relationship. Not that it’s necessary to always be in touch with those you call friends, on the contrary, it’s that quality of coming in and out of contact, that makes the friendships endure. “Good friends are like stars… you don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.” Anonymous.
GROWING UP
The friendships that I have made, were during different periods of my life. In the beginning, that’s my beginning, I grew up Brooklyn, New York, in a working-class neighborhood. In those days, all the necessities of life, i.e., grocery stores, butcher shops, produce markets, tailors, shoemakers, pharmacies, and of course candy stores, were all located on either end of the single block I lived on. So, it was natural that all the families that lived there, didn’t have to go far afield for any other necessity. Consequently, it became a small town, located in one of the largest cities in the world. Naturally, there were boys of my own age, and we did everything together. In the summer, we played sports, and other games we made up, just on our own block, from early in the morning to late at night. When school was in session, we would walk together, the block and a half to our grade school.
It wasn’t until I expanded my own horizons, leaving the sanctuary of the block, and joined scouting, that my first friendship was formed. Scouting exposed me to a different kind of life style, something my small-town block couldn’t offer. I was being exposed to nature, and learning how to survive in it, that was the exciting part for me. It also brought me into contact to a new set of friends.
FIRST FRIEND
One new friend in particular became my first best friend. In the beginning, our only contact was with scouting. He lived in a different neighborhood, but walking distance from where I lived. We went to different Junior High Schools, so our contact during the school year was limited to the weekly scout meetings, and of course the over-night camping trips to the various scout camps that were accessible to New York City. Besides the camping trips, it was during the summer vacations that our friendship bonded, and then it was solidified when we attended the same High School.
Our friendship kept on growing, we were the best-man at each-others wedding. What started to separate us was, first my choice of career, advertising which consumed me, and then my divorce, which finally relocated me from my home in Brooklyn to a new life-style in Manhattan. So slowly we lost contact, especially when I moved to Los Angeles to continue my life in entertainment. Many years passed without any contact, and then when I joined Facebook, and was writing my book about growing-up that we contacted each-other. All it took was two emails back and forth to catch-up on our lives.
TWO FRIENDSHIPS
My next two close friendships were during my career as an art director working for advertising agencies. The story of the first friendship was quite interesting. I originally hired him as my assistant, and then because of losing clients, had to fire him. Then several years later, he hired me as another art director at his agency, and then because of losing clients, had to fire me. We still remained close friends until he moved to California. It wasn’t until I moved to California, that our friendship became close again. When I moved to California, I was on a career high in film and television from working on network series as a post-production supervisor, and second unit director. Unfortunately, it didn’t translate to the Hollywood environment as quickly as I thought it would, and I was just keeping my head above water. He didn’t understand that when he asked me to arrange entries into the acting world for his daughter, so unhappily our friendship ended.
The other friendship during my career, was an art director for a small agency that my small agency merged with. He wasn’t going to stay at the new agency, rather to continue his freelance photography career. We did work on a very creative presentation for the Betsey Johnson account, we didn’t get the account, but the working experience was what it was about for me. Over the years we have remain close friends, keeping in touch, especially when I was in Los Angeles. He pushed me to into becoming an extra for Central Casting, yes it really does exist. Then caught up again when I returned to New York for the “Our Home” show, then back to Los Angeles, and then back to New York again, and finally my close Facebook friend.
MY LAST BEST FRIEND
This last friendship in my life has come close to the end of my life. This a very different relationship for me, it’s with a very smart, and beautiful woman that we share as just friends. We have shared a lot of pain in our individual lives. It’s a relationship where we talk about our lives, past, and present, without the fear of being judged. We listen intently to each other, giving advice where we feel it is needed. I feel so blessed, that I have someone in my life as my best friend, someone who I trust implicitly, someone who I have given complete control of my life, the decision of life and death.
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you just the same.” Elbert Hubbard
